The past few days have been ripe for exploration.
I will tell you what I have learned.
There is a fine line between need and desire. But without desire, nothing happens.
If the desire is pure, that’s one thing.
But even a desire born of purity, is all too often mutated into full-blown need by the untamed mind — in the blink of an eye.
Before you know it, you’re back in the purgatory.
The path of mastery is not black and white.
You cannot be simply given the information, and be headed on your merry way.
No amount of knowledge bestowed upon you will give you true understanding.
It can certainly begin with knowledge, as the right information can give you the opportunity to see. But it cannot make you.
If something doesn’t make an impact, it’s gone with the wind.
In my personal journey, the more I come to the genuine conclusion that I “had it all wrong”, the more I begin to truly understand.
So what is that I’ve come to understand . . .
To me . . .
It’s an ultimate mode of being.
A truly effective, mode of being.
A perfected state, which can only be arrived at by the delicate dissection of one’s own mind.
I will describe it for you now. And at first it will likely sound too simple.
It will likely only be heard by those who’ve learned to separate true desire from need masquerading as desire.
The most effective mode of being, is allowing your desire to drive you — without allowing it to mutate into need.
In the beginning, it will most certainly turn into need. It likely already is.
The “not allowing”, is simply recognizing this as it happens.
Recognizing it as futile at best, and torture at worst.
Not because I say so, or because anyone else says so — but because you’ve experienced what this does to you, firsthand.
To remain free . . . while simultaneously being driven . . . by a seemingly unquenchable desire.
But here’s the secret. Here’s where it all breaks down.
The unquenchable quality of this desire, is the very gene that gives rise to this mutation.
If one is to live in this mode of being for any length of time — satisfaction must arise from the mode of being itself.
And when this happens: it becomes self-sustaining.
The irony is that because this mode of being is so effective, the desires that remain in your periphery will likely be fulfilled given enough time, without the need to chase them.
And by then, you won’t even need them.
Allowing you to remain free, and focused, in this truly effective state.
The more a desire is muddied by impurity, the more likely this mutation is to occur.
And this is exactly why desire must be understood, and tamed.
Not reduced . . . but tapered at the edges.
It must be aimed at what’s effective. If it’s aimed at each and every thing, it will create an ineffective, not to mention unbearable, friction.
What could be more effective than being madly driven while remaining free, all the same?
This is the way.
And it can only be arrived at by understanding there is no easy answer.
This understanding is so subtle, that it simply cannot be arrived at by merely reading about it.
It really is a matter of experimentation. Trial and error.
A continuation along the path, and remaining awake throughout the journey — so that when you begin to veer off, you can stop yourself from going off the deep end.
To be asleep at the wheel is effective when one is immersed in the act.
But if you remain asleep for too long, you might just find yourself rolled over in a ditch.
An overwhelming desire can be both the most effective and ineffective thing in the world.
It’s ineffective when it’s a dumb, dull, blunt instrument.
The understanding, the learning, exploring, and examining — this is the process in which you will sharpen your instrument, into a truly effective tool.
So why do most people never arrive at this understanding?
Because we’re always looking for the easy way out.
We want simple, black and white answers.
We want to take what we hear, and turn it into rules, so that we may attempt to make ourselves feel good by following them. We want to portray the identity of somebody who “knows what they’re doing”.
And when things don’t pan out: without the conviction to read between the lines, most simply give up, or begin searching for answers anew.
When the truth was right under their nose, all this time.