Categories
Journals

Alone

The desire to escape to far-off lands magnifies. I find myself growing evermore tired of the monotony of comfort and familiarity. Sometimes things feel so meaningless and disappointing that I just want to give it all up. It’s when I’m unable to decipher the truth that the apathy comes back. Everything is indeed meaningless — […]

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Journals

Restless Nights

It’s 1:56am. Tired. Stayed up past 6am last “night”. Strange dreams. Woken without my consent. But I cannot sleep. I toss and I turn, and overheat for no apparent reason. (Was reading about an ancient master visiting his master’s grave. I long for another life. Another romanticized ghost?) It seems I can’t stop seeking. My […]

Categories
Letters

Desert Wolves

A hurricane of bittersweet nostalgia hits me like a truck when I listen to those rough and growly guitars captured on my phone in that little industrial warehouse. I don’t know if you know this, but we were actually starting to get pretty good. But I know it was never about that. It was always […]

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Meditations

On Truth and God

I come now, having pulled the string from my teeth. Arriving at the shore, drenched, and covered in sand. “The truth is God,” he said. But who said? And where did I come from? The underworld is full of lies, and being thrust from it leaves one exquisitely disarrayed. But the path is true, and […]

Categories
Manifestos

Severed

“Perfect purity is possible if you turn your life into a line of poetry written with a splash of blood.” Yukio Mishima It has come to my attention that when I become lethargic and feel trapped in my mind that something is off. There is something I’m not understanding, and therefore I have become disconnected […]

Categories
Manifestos

Space Cadet

As I sit here alone and write this, I feel enormous peace. It is possible this peace can only be felt when alone. In fact, I am almost certain of this — at least for me, in this stage of my life. It has never been more obvious to me than now: I have always […]

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Journals

Falling Hard on the Rocky Floors of Reality

The truth comes down on me hard. I have been caught in a tormentful spell: the natural result of living in domestic hell. I have been chasing things I thought I’d learned not to chase long ago. I see a path laid before me, but I have not been able to overcome the constant torrents […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

Seeking

It’s lateAnd I’m still seekingThe keysDelicately disarming, a time bombSeeing that which needs to be seenBefore a wheel starts spinningAnd whisks me awayBefore the marbles start rollingIn every directionNothing’s as it seemsThis I knowAnd I’m terrifiedOf what’s leftLurking belowThe fog

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Uncategorized

I can’t hear you. Speak louder. What is it that you want?

Categories
Meditations

There is No Path

Not every connection can be explained. This is when you know it’s yours. The more unexplainable it is, the more personal it is to you. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but in a way, this is your “Godhood”. And in another way . . . this is everything. Is it your path? I don’t […]