Categories
Journals

April 4th

The relentless pursuit of understanding

It’s been a while since I’ve written in this journal, by hand. There is so much to explore, so many questions to ask. So many lies to smoke out. So many things left to understand.

Where do I even begin?

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Categories
Meditations

The Running Theme

Effortless mastery

There’s an inexplicable feeling that continues to arise in my life. A running theme.

And I’m not quite sure how to explain it.

Nor do I think explaining it to myself or another would do any good.

Trying to relay a message often distorts it.

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Categories
Meditations

Sharp

Dissecting the moment

Why waste a moment when you cannot know where it will lead?

This statement is made in response to two judgements: one that considers not “using” the moment as a waste — and one that says this moment will not lead where I want to go.

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Journals

Dead Ends

Nothing really matters

Often I hear voices speaking in Vietnamese while sitting in the kitchen, as it shares a wall with a bank.

Often I hear voices in my head, speaking of fantastical things.

I say fantastical but sometimes I question their validity, as the feeling can be unmistakable.

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Categories
Journals

The Source

Finding my way back

This world and its people want me to be something.

A certain someone.

And in “becoming” a certain someone, by assuming a role, one is trapped in purgatory.

Being a “someone”, or assuming a predestined concept, is to willfully imprison oneself.

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Categories
Manifestos

Seek And Speak

The truth seekers manifesto

I do not know what led me down this path. All I know is that the fire to do so has been burning within me for years. I can honestly say that the only thing that prevented me from doing so earlier was the world; giving it credence.

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Categories
Meditations

Splitting Atoms

On exiting your mind

The thing is done for something.

The truth lies in what this something really is, versus what you believe it to be.

The two must be contrasted.

If you tell me it’s to get somewhere, I will tell you it’s to satisfy the need to get somewhere.

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Categories
Automatic Writings

Fire And Poison

Burning within me

Jump into this slipstream before I believe in your dream

People and shadows move together like ventriloquists

Pointed, exact, hidden secret portals allow one to enter new realms

And so let’s exit into a new one

What right now is standing in the way of me and instant genius?

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Categories
Automatic Writings

White Walls

Emerging into nothingness

White walls mocked me with their pale, blank, noseless stare,

As I looked to them for help.

I left that room without understanding.

And then I understood.

I understood that I was being used by the mind.

I stuck my head out the window, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

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Categories
Manifestos

Otherworld

Learning to lose myself

This other world I peer into: I do not know how to access it — not all of the time.

And the truth is, even having peered into it, I’ve always left one foot outside the door.

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