Burning within me
Jump into this slipstream before I believe in your dream
People and shadows move together like ventriloquists
Pointed, exact, hidden secret portals allow one to enter new realms
And so let’s exit into a new one
What right now is standing in the way of me and instant genius?
Most certainly the mind
Most certainly distractions
But it’s not the distractions
It’s that you’re distractible
What’s standing in the way of instantly transcending this mind?
Need to do, need to produce, need to get somewhere
And why do I need to get away?
Is it because I’m running from myself and reality?
Why do I need to get something out of something?
Is it because I’m touched by ambition and drive?
Is this really the problem or is it because this sends me on a chase for a way, a method?
What things, that if I did them, would guarantee my success?
Wouldn’t it be a lack of need for success?
How can one toe this line?
There is no how
It’s done by necessity
This need
Today I sit and ask myself hard questions
Hard because the answers are ones that create self-conflict
I hate the unseriousness around me I absolutely fucking hate it
It’s not the problem but I hate it all the same
Certainly it keeps me tethered no doubt
But I can and will find a way to transcend this, as I have no choice
To be unagitated nor concerned
Just driven mad
No time
For the stupid
Indeed
People just want to play with fluffy animals all fucking day and talk to their stupid friends all fucking day and compromise all fucking day and bring the real ones down all fucking day
People always knew, they most certainly did, as known by the condescending way they’d refer to me by Mr. Last name
As if to say who do you think you are
And I never thought anything
Not even once
If I did it was one of insecurity confusion and doubt
But I brushed it all aside like the garbage it was and I ignored it and refused to play their stupid games without refusing because for some god given reason I am different
And perhaps I’ve lived many lives and have always sought truth because of what I’ve learned in the last
And perhaps it’s all coming to a boiling point and perhaps this will be my last
I’m not angry because I’m alone I’m angry because I’m not alone enough
I’m angry because I’m repulsed by what I’ve let myself become and I don’t know how to fall out of it other than by drifting off alone into these crazy voids where things just happen and genius comes with ease and nobody takes me out of it
Don’t you ever let yourself compromise, friend.
If you find yourself without relationship, hear me when I say that this is a blessing
Do not believe the scum who dangle lies in front of your face, convincing you that it’s serving your need
The shadows are long and stark
I won’t sugar coat it
But by God willing may you see that this is what keeps one hungry and alive
This is what reminds one of what is really taking place here
You seek to live in a societal cryo chamber because you’re afraid of this truth
But if you do you will die never coming to know life
The best thing you could do for yourself is to leave forever and never come back
To walk the Sahara with no water, so that you may come to understand what life really is
To be left out in the freezing cold, so that you may no longer be nursed into complacency by the fire
You will never ever become serious until life itself is presented to you in a serious manner
You think you’re going to change surrounded by politics and frappuccinos and selfies and parrots and smooth talkers and image padders
Life is best lived as a lonely wanderer, making his way from each temporary haven to the next
May he spend a single night at this fire, may he speak words of wisdom with its keeper,
And may he leave immediately the next morning lest he succumb to a life of gluttonous complacency more dangerous than any sugar or drug known to mankind
Shake in the cold
Stand on your own two feet
Become independent
Rely on nobody
Not even yourself
Not that clever mind of yours
For it will whisper sweet songs and lullaby you to sleep
It will try and try and try and leave you bleeding dry
The ones that are unable, the ones who are weak
Would be best served admitting this to themselves
Just kick back, grab a hot drink, pat yourself on the back
Give in and enjoy your comforts
Just please don’t insult the rest of us
You can sit in the bleachers and cheer your favorite players
You can say what you’d do given the opportunity
I’ll nod and smile
I’ll nod and smile at the living dead
He can serve me when I return to the fire for a momentary rest
He can help me remove my armor
He can pull up a stool for my worn feet
And I will smile and respect this man for admitting the sort of heart that beats within him
But I will spit poison and fire in the face of the pretender who claims to be anything but
Including myself