Categories
Automatic Writings

I

I is the only problem.

The idea that you exist is the problem

In separation of anybody

You will carry on after your body has disappeared

Because you are the indivisible that

Change eternal

Permanence is a delusion

Any and all ideas of permanence are the cause of all our suffering

We suffer for what?

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“I”

Categories
Manifestos

In the Mind and Without

A non-fictional account of a pathological pursuit.

An innocent offering.

A compassionate bleeding.

I have felt, in the most genuine sense, that there’s nowhere to go in this life.

And this was true. It is true.

But how could I know, I would find a valley so vast?

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“In the Mind and Without”

Categories
Automatic Writings

Chef’s Kiss

Wants us to drink rice liquor. Dinner table of a five-story townhouse. Works for the UN. Has been to my country. X bashful.

Just one of those if we must sir. Only if we must. Can of “Hanoi” goes to my head.

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“Chef’s Kiss”

Categories
Automatic Writings

Fine Cuts

for the discerning individual, seasoned to taste, served with a smile

a part of me, as solitary as i am, as uninterested, disgusted, appalled, apathetic, about almost every one, and every thing,

i am still, quite terrified of being alone
not because of the solitude
but because i quite literally become some one
or some thing, entirely different
and i fall through the earth

Two worlds.

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“Fine Cuts”

Categories
Automatic Writings

Anti

Paralyzed. Take me to cookie cutter island. Can’t hear the stark reality of it all. Afraid, aware, too awake? Something wrong? Thinking this is wrong is the problem? I don’t know

Nice cubed squares. Smutty ink. Preposterous mind fucks. What does it all mean?

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“Anti”

Categories
Meditations

Selfish Gods

A selfish god wouldn’t make a very good one.

Good to who?

Primarily itself.

If it were selfish, it would experience the exquisite array of all the pains life has to offer.

Pain is pain.

But it’s an entirely different animal when it lives in existential terror.

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“Selfish Gods”

Categories
Automatic Writings

The Haunting

And so it’s back with a vengeance.

This rubber banding–its elasticity is increasing.

What have I done to cause this?

Nothing at all.

It just happens, like a haunting.

A haunting because I have become forsaken, in forsaking the world, forsaking its people.

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“The Haunting”

Categories
Journals

No Buddha

1:42am, Ho Chi Minh City // August 20th

Down a dark alley way, a dog looks to me in suspicion, indecisive if I’m worth the taste.

I feel he senses I’m out of place; that I do not belong here.

Is this why I’m here?

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“No Buddha”

Categories
Meditations

A Clean Slate

Everything must return to its source in due time.

A clean slate is a wonderful thing.

One may build from the scaffolding of that which previously came.

But to enter into a situation full of preconceived notions, opinions, prejudices and expectations, limits the situation entirely.

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“A Clean Slate”

Categories
Meditations

The Plague

Your mother has it.

Your father has it.

Your sister, brother, uncle and cousin have it.

They all have it.

Even you have it.

The sixty-year-old man says, “Don’t worry, I’m not dying.”

And so he wastes his life.

The twenty-five-year-old says, “It’s no problem, I have time.”

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“The Plague”