Categories
Manifestos

In the Mind and Without

A non-fictional account of a pathological pursuit. An innocent offering. A compassionate bleeding. I have felt, in the most genuine sense, that there’s nowhere to go in this life. And this was true. It is true. But how could I know, I would find a valley so vast? Nothing makes sense anymore and it is […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

Chef’s Kiss

Wants us to drink rice liquor. Dinner table of a five-story townhouse. Works for the UN. Has been to my country. X bashful. Just one of those if we must sir. Only if we must. Can of “Hanoi” goes to my head. Five stories up, long way to go. Your wife eats lots of fruit. […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

Fine Cuts

for the discerning individual, seasoned to taste, served with a smile a part of me, as solitary as i am, as uninterested, disgusted, appalled, apathetic, about almost every one, and every thing, i am still, quite terrified of being alonenot because of the solitudebut because i quite literally become some oneor some thing, entirely differentand […]

Categories
Meditations

Selfish Gods

A selfish god wouldn’t make a very good one. Good to who? Primarily itself. If it were selfish, it would experience the exquisite array of all the pains life has to offer. Pain is pain. But it’s an entirely different animal when it lives in existential terror. This is man’s life, of course. Do we […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

The Haunting

And so it’s back with a vengeance. This rubber banding–its elasticity is increasing. What have I done to cause this? Nothing at all. It just happens, like a haunting. A haunting because I have become forsaken, in forsaking the world, forsaking its people. Burying the idea of love, with dust and dirt. Knowing that what […]

Categories
Journals

No Buddha

1:42am, Ho Chi Minh City // August 20th Down a dark alley way, a dog looks to me in suspicion, indecisive if I’m worth the taste. I feel he senses I’m out of place; that I do not belong here. Is this why I’m here? Is it possible I’ve grown to hate the idea of […]

Categories
Meditations

A Clean Slate

Everything must return to its source in due time. A clean slate is a wonderful thing. One may build from the scaffolding of that which previously came. But to enter into a situation full of preconceived notions, opinions, prejudices and expectations, limits the situation entirely. The vast majority of people in this world are full […]

Categories
Meditations

The Plague

Your mother has it. Your father has it. Your sister, brother, uncle and cousin have it. They all have it. Even you have it. The sixty-year-old man says, “Don’t worry, I’m not dying.” And so he wastes his life. The twenty-five-year-old says, “It’s no problem, I have time.” And so he wastes his life. The […]

Categories
Meditations

. . . I Don’t Know What To Say

One of my greatest fears used to be being controlled. Whether by an individual, a group, a state, or anything external to my sovereignty as an individual. I got wind of the fact it was indeed I who controlled myself and my living experience several years ago. But it wasn’t until I had my mind […]

Categories
Meditations

Disaffected Malcontent

I have been disaffected for several years now. Have you ever noticed that when people say things, they’re saying it to themselves? There is no conversation. It’s a battle. A battle with their mind. True conversations only happen once in a blue moon. The other day I met with somebody, a family member, when he […]