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Letters

Message in a Bottle

If you’re reading this, the answer is Yes.

Followed by I Know.

And this is why, I haven’t done so.

I have seen the barrier, but only a glimpse.

The glimpse struck me deeply, but the knowing withdrew.

I was like a rabid dog that day, out in the middle of nowhere.

And I know the causation. I respect its truth.

But there isn’t a day that goes by.

I don’t know if it’s relevant to you. But it is to me.

It’s one of the few things I feel deeply.

The truth is, this message in a bottle has been docked in the sand for some time now, awaiting its departure.

And perhaps there’s nothing else to say — no further context necessary.

Which begs the question: what is the purpose in doing so?

The impetus for this message is a feeling and feeling alone. Intuition.

And when it is felt there is nothing to question.

But the knowing does fade. It is overruled. Ideas of naivety and “crazy” invade.

But then again, only the “crazy” are worth a breath. Only the “crazy” have a chance.

Anyone that’s ever arrived anywhere knows this is the secret.

But this isn’t really about arrival.

It’s an esoteric head nod, incentivized by rules that perhaps only one of us plays by.

This understanding is why this message has stayed shoreside. It’s not really for you: it’s sleeping a pill for me.

But in this spontaneous recognition it’s evolved into something entirely different.

It’s true that understanding creates silence. When you know, you know your own disingenuousness, and you withdraw.

If you know that the purpose of something cannot be achieved by way of this something, you retreat.

It’s the only sane response when faced with reality.

And I don’t know that “I” even want to see it again.

But if this is the program under which one operates, the wasting of time is the inevitable outcome.

And I suppose this is where virtually everyone lives.

I see this in my own life and so I cannot imagine the frustration that at least used to take root within you.

Perhaps that’s what real empathy is.

I don’t like the word as it always seems wrapped in plastic, but perhaps it is.

But here I go again, thinking someone needs such a thing.

When one lives on Venus and the other Saturn, the greatest folly is thinking one can understand the other.

There’s something I want to say to “the others” that keeps entering my mind, but I feel this isn’t the place for it. It’s drenched in enough ambiguity as it is.

Though I must admit there is great satisfaction in writing something, knowing only one holds the key to decrypt it.

But I digress . . .

The intent to relay The Message to others is only the outward manifestation of the desire to relay it to myself.

This doesn’t mean I won’t do it, but I do recognize it.

And perhaps I’m not sure what this means. Perhaps it’s simply how humans operate.

Perhaps it’s simply the desire to “leverage” what I’m already doing for myself.

Perhaps it’s time to cork this bottle.

The island from which I send it henceforth is one I continue to examine. And it seems there’s endless ocean between us.

I must confess I’ve oft thought it’s better this way.

Necessary, even.

But the barrier I saw that day — I can’t help but feel that what’s behind it tells a different story.

Is choice involved?

No, the choice has already been made. I only seek to understand why.

And it is upon passing this barrier of why, that a different choice is made possible.