He who seeks to help you can only create interference.
In fact, he is not different from interference.
I cannot stress enough that authority does not exist.
You know nothing other than yourself. And you barely know that.
Unfortunately, you’ll never find a more egotistical bunch than the “enlightened” and truth seekers.
For one-upmanship is the name of the game.
And ulterior motive is the ever present elephant in the room.
So eager to declare. So eager to display to the world they admonish.
But anything declared is dead on arrival.
I’ve often questioned my apparent jadedness.
But this is the best thing about “me”.
For it is not untrue. It is not uncalled for. It is the only sane response.
Whatever somebody apparently has is completely irrelevant to you.
And have you seen how desperate they are to communicate this?
Have you seen how quickly they salivate and pounce at the idea of this new self-image?
Why tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do? What they need to see? What they’ve yet to see?
As if you know?
I know you know things.
But what you don’t know is how you understood it.
What you don’t know is the order it was understood in.
Or the purpose or impetus of your understanding it.
Everyone is just talking to themselves. It’d be best if we made that clear.
But then, nobody would be able to pretend to be an authority.
Rare people do exist. I do not reject that.
But perhaps he who seeks to help you can do the rarest thing of all and be honest with himself.
Perhaps he can admit that he seeks to help himself first and foremost.
Perhaps he can admit that he seeks for you to help him, help himself.
For this would be the best way to help “you”.
But of course, if he were to admit this, then the whole charade would end.
Kapil Gupta once tweeted, in a now-deleted tweet, “If he wants you, he’s a charlatan.”
If I examine my thoughts:
Sometimes I DO want to help people.
But I don’t want to ruin you.
Sometimes I DO want to help me.
But I don’t want to ruin me.
Whatever thought you have, whatever insistence, perceived contradiction and/or paradox, and any other titillating thought you’re falling over yourself about:
I. Do. Not. Care.
It. Does. Not. Help.
It. Is. Irrelevant.
Unless asked for. Begged for.
And when one finds himself begging; when one finds and asks The One Who Knows—he learns he has no answers for him.
For the record, that’s exactly what happened to me. I’ll let you do the rest of the math.
Hell, maybe I’m just different.
Maybe I just want it ALL and no sliver of advice or anything other.
I do not trust anyone.
You need not trust me.
This is why I will succeed in my quest for what I want.
Not what YOU want.
Not what YOU apparently have got.
I do not want, whatever it is that you may or may not have.
If you call this arrogance, I say let me be arrogant.
I AM what I WANT.
Each and every moment.
Not your stupid ideas of what somebody like myself should want.
I do not care what you think is BEST for me or what you think creates SUFFERING in me.
If I want to suffer who are you to stop me?
There is nobody to help on this end.
There’s nobody to help on your end either.
So cut the crap.
I’m sorry if I gave anyone the impression I asked anything of them.
But the truth is I didn’t. The truth is this is only wishful thinking.
The truth is you don’t want to know me.
In fact, you best stay away.
For appearances can be deceiving.
And though it may seem counterintuitive:
I am, in fact, a violent beast.
I am, in fact, quite dangerous.
I have, in fact, earned the right to tell you to shut the fuck up.
Why?
Because I never ask anything of anyone.
I am my alpha and omega.
I am my destiny, whether that means suffering to the end or not.
And barring all morality, this will likely only cause you hurt.
See . . .
God came down and kissed me on the lips just like he did Jesus.
That ain’t no mistake.
That ain’t no coincidence.
That’s bloodshed, tears and the rest.
That’s called passing the test.
And I don’t want to hear from anyone other than Him.
For anything else is the greatest insult.
And I don’t want to hear anything about why this shouldn’t be.
It’s as clear as day: nobody really knows me.
Of course, I’ve never given them the opportunity.
I don’t know where what I need comes from but come it does.
Like this early morning’s downpour I fill up the gutters ’till I puke all over your silly guru robes.
Just wait till I start seething.
You haven’t seen a thing.
You haven’t seen the vaults.
The world ain’t ready.
The masses undeserving.
There’s only one person I’m interested in serving.
Only one person with a pulse.
So give me that loneliness.
Give me that madness.
Take away my stability.
Put me back on the streets.
It’s where I’m at my best.
Keep my treasures in the closet, keep that powder dry.
My chip’s diamond and polished, ready to demolish.
Scumbags end up dried up, it’s evident.
Fake twitter gurus will never be desperate enough.
It’s my desperation that’s earned me the right to tell you to shut the fuck up.