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Attachment and Irrational Thinking

A homeless man entered the temple’s grounds and began digging through garbage by hand. I looked onward with suspicion. He looked downward and felt eyes burning: sensing his onlooker without a direct line of sight. I looked away. He disappeared for some time, skulking behind the wat, after which we crossed paths and had a […]

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A Foxhole of Truth

I lie here confused by my own thoughts. But am I really confused? Perhaps I am simply appalled by my own ego. Annoyed is perhaps the better word. Annoyed, because even in seeing the futility of such a thing, it persists. And yet, I feel a calming wave of reassurance overcome me, as I know […]

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Observations

I find myself sitting in the same place I spent so much time at two years ago in Southeast Asia. I would come here to study things of interest, but oftentimes I would simply sit and do nothing. Having tried to do what I thought I was supposed to in the world, and sensing the […]

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Alone

The desire to escape to far-off lands magnifies. I find myself growing evermore tired of the monotony of comfort and familiarity. Sometimes things feel so meaningless and disappointing that I just want to give it all up. It’s when I’m unable to decipher the truth that the apathy comes back. Everything is indeed meaningless — […]

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Restless Nights

It’s 1:56am. Tired. Stayed up past 6am last “night”. Strange dreams. Woken without my consent. But I cannot sleep. I toss and I turn, and overheat for no apparent reason. (Was reading about an ancient master visiting his master’s grave. I long for another life. Another romanticized ghost?) It seems I can’t stop seeking. My […]

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Falling Hard on the Rocky Floors of Reality

The truth comes down on me hard. I have been caught in a tormentful spell: the natural result of living in domestic hell. I have been chasing things I thought I’d learned not to chase long ago. I see a path laid before me, but I have not been able to overcome the constant torrents […]

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Translucent Strings

It’s never been more clear to me than now, that I don’t know who I really am. There are translucent strings that pull me this way and that. This I know. And in knowing this, I have been able to slowly but surely learn my way out of complete and total ignorance. Perhaps this is […]