A display case for my most remarkable writings. Thoughtless, unscripted scrawlings. Words that flow through me and onto the page. It’s here I forge myself.
Paralyzed. Take me to cookie cutter island. Can’t hear the stark reality of it all. Afraid, aware, too awake? Something wrong? Thinking this is wrong is the problem? I don’t know
Nice cubed squares. Smutty ink. Preposterous mind fucks.
And so it’s back with a vengeance.
This rubber banding–its elasticity is increasing.
What have I done to cause this?
Nothing at all.
It just happens, like a haunting.
A haunting because I have become forsaken, in forsaking the world, forsaking its people.
No excerpt.
Silence . . . silence . . .
Oftentimes I avoid it, trading it for the pleasures of music.
But what a sacrifice.
What a misstep.
Even now as I write this work, I merely date and do not title.
I wanted to speak with you, but I’m not sure how because I don’t know who you are.
You don’t?
No. I used to think I did. But that wasn’t really you, was it?
No.
Another ghost?
Back in my own boots.
Not looking is what allows me to see.
No more getting twisted up in the roots.
No more trying to create waves when there’s no wind.
Either it’s captured, or it dies.
Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
It’s been a while. Stay a while.
Let me tell you about the daggers hanging, handles spinning; blades heavy, and ready to fall.
I knew they were there. I could hear them calling me.
“Don’t look up,” I thought.
I fear you’ll be lost forever.
I fear we’ll never get that magic back.
I fear that time is running out.
I fear feeling like we had our masterpiece stolen from us.
I fear we’ll never have another chance.
Jump into this slipstream before I believe in your dream
People and shadows move together like ventriloquists
Pointed, exact, hidden secret portals allow one to enter new realms
And so let’s exit into a new one
What right now is standing in the way of me and instant genius?
White walls mocked me with their pale, blank, noseless stare,
As I looked to them for help.
I left that room without understanding.
And then I understood.
I understood that I was being used by the mind.
I stuck my head out the window, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.