Categories
Journals

Vampiric Tendencies

One can feel like a vampire out in the desert, sun blazing. It’s cold hiding in the shadows all day, but the unabated sun is hardly bearable for more than a couple of minutes. I’m used to the constant, thick heat of Southeast Asia at this point. The sun here feels like it’s passing through […]

Categories
Meditations

The Perils of Self-Monitoring

There’s an ever-watchful eye in your life, but who’s is it? Not yours. And its judgements it makes are not your own. Even after having read the previous sentence, it will begin to tell you the story of this problem, and how you need to fix it. This is the state of surveillance within you. […]

Categories
Manifestos

Renegade Vows

There’s something brewing within me and it feels like hatred. Tame, but disdain. Everyone’s stuck, but why think about them when you are too? What about them renegade vows? Vows are never made for another. They’re made for oneself. I won’t quote Oscar Wilde on marriage here, I’m not sure I agree with all of […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

Boo

No excerpt.

Categories
Journals

Of Heaven and Hell

Well the title of this was certainly more appropriate a few minutes ago, before reading my last few entries. Amidst all the despair and wandering I felt comforted; less alone, like my writing was that of another’s. I came to this page for release. It’s been too long. Why I put it off even knowing […]

Categories
Journals

Ride and Die

1:39pm, Ho Chi Minh City Today I woke to the comforting sounds of rain, filling me with memories of growing up in the Pacific Northwest. To me warm rain is like a warm blanket. The warm rain of my past tugs at my heart. Today I awoke to a dream life, a dream of memories. […]

Categories
Journals

As You Did

Well if I can’t remember why I picked up the pen in the first place then I’ll simply write about The Despair. Once again this morning I was engulfed by it. It comes from the pressure to succeed; the fear of failure. I wake up and immediately I’m hit with it. It comes from the […]

Categories
Meditations

Bubblues Burstis

Reputation. Let’s talk it. A reputation has no benefit to a person other than that which is measurable. I’m talking dollars and cents. Forget being liked. Forget looking perfect for the sake of being considered so. Where is the utility? There is indeed utility in glamour. It drives prices up. It creates an air of […]

Categories
Automatic Writings

Goodness Gracious Me

Silence . . . silence . . . Oftentimes I avoid it, trading it for the pleasures of music. But what a sacrifice. What a misstep. Even now as I write this work, I merely date and do not title. To shout at the wind as if to speak magic words: one seeks disappointment knowing […]

Categories
Journals

Eagle Eye

Sitting on the edge of a fertile valley. Trees push uphill in the distance, hands on each other’s backs like a trail of army ants: Brotherhood of Green. Smoke fills the vale from unknown sources. Little lights open their eyes and blink on, as dusk descends upon the highlands. This is my place — having […]