There’s something this world seems to be running away from. And we do this by pretending.
By pretending and hoping there’s something more, than this.
We do it with false emotions; by pretending to care about that which we do not.
I’ve never heard a satisfying definition of love until hearing Charles Eisenstein describe it as the expansion of self to include another, or “the other” — and the opposite of fear.
At the end of the day, love is just a word that represents an idea.
It’s been a while since I’ve written in this journal, by hand. There is so much to explore, so many questions to ask. So many lies to smoke out. So many things left to understand.
Where do I even begin?
There’s an inexplicable feeling that continues to arise in my life. A running theme.
And I’m not quite sure how to explain it.
Nor do I think explaining it to myself or another would do any good.
Trying to relay a message often distorts it.
Why waste a moment when you cannot know where it will lead?
This statement is made in response to two judgements: one that considers not “using” the moment as a waste — and one that says this moment will not lead where I want to go.
Often I hear voices speaking in Vietnamese while sitting in the kitchen, as it shares a wall with a bank.
Often I hear voices in my head, speaking of fantastical things.
I say fantastical but sometimes I question their validity, as the feeling can be unmistakable.
This world and its people want me to be something.
A certain someone.
And in “becoming” a certain someone, by assuming a role, one is trapped in purgatory.
Being a “someone”, or assuming a predestined concept, is to willfully imprison oneself.
I do not know what led me down this path. All I know is that the fire to do so has been burning within me for years. I can honestly say that the only thing that prevented me from doing so earlier was the world; giving it credence.
The thing is done for something.
The truth lies in what this something really is, versus what you believe it to be.
The two must be contrasted.
If you tell me it’s to get somewhere, I will tell you it’s to satisfy the need to get somewhere.
Jump into this slipstream before I believe in your dream
People and shadows move together like ventriloquists
Pointed, exact, hidden secret portals allow one to enter new realms
And so let’s exit into a new one
What right now is standing in the way of me and instant genius?