I find myself sitting in the same place I spent so much time at two years ago in Southeast Asia. I would come here to study things of interest, but oftentimes I would simply sit and do nothing. Having tried to do what I thought I was supposed to in the world, and sensing the […]
The desire to escape to far-off lands magnifies. I find myself growing evermore tired of the monotony of comfort and familiarity. Sometimes things feel so meaningless and disappointing that I just want to give it all up. It’s when I’m unable to decipher the truth that the apathy comes back. Everything is indeed meaningless — […]
It’s 1:56am. Tired. Stayed up past 6am last “night”. Strange dreams. Woken without my consent. But I cannot sleep. I toss and I turn, and overheat for no apparent reason. (Was reading about an ancient master visiting his master’s grave. I long for another life. Another romanticized ghost?) It seems I can’t stop seeking. My […]
A hurricane of bittersweet nostalgia hits me like a truck when I listen to those rough and growly guitars captured on my phone in that little industrial warehouse. I don’t know if you know this, but we were actually starting to get pretty good. But I know it was never about that. It was always […]
I come now, having pulled the string from my teeth. Arriving at the shore, drenched, and covered in sand. “The truth is God,” he said. But who said? And where did I come from? The underworld is full of lies, and being thrust from it leaves one exquisitely disarrayed. But the path is true, and […]
It has come to my attention that when I become lethargic and feel trapped in my mind that something is off.
There is something I’m not understanding, and therefore I have become disconnected from the truth.
As I sit here alone and write this, I feel enormous peace.
It is possible this peace can only be felt when alone.
The truth comes down on me hard.
I have been caught in a tormentful spell: the natural result of living in domestic hell.
And I’m still seeking
I can’t hear you.
What is it that you want?